Back in the "before time" - those halcyon days of February, 2020 - I went to a neighborhood gathering for the first time in years, and now I'm even more glad I decided to go.

I made about 15 portraits, became famous, and learned two interesting things:

1) Apparently I'm developing quite the bald spot in the back. (I never see the back of my head, so I had no idea!)

2) People had two main motivations for taking portraits. Some, perhaps those with a darker sense of humor, wanted a fun distraction. They found this way of defusing tension with humor, embraced the absurdity, and made it part of their lives.

Others reacted against the disruption and chaos intruding into their lives, and sought a way to restore balance. For them, getting dressed up for a family portrait (especially on a holiday), was a way to "feel normal" again.

If more people want these, I'll just keep doing them. It was a lot of fun, and a good way to "sharpen the saw" during a lot of downtime. I can only take so many pictures of birds from my porch :)

I'll keep the gallery updated as I add new ones. (They're private by default, unless people decide to share them.)

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I count myself fortunate that - so far at least - no one in my family or immediate circle has fallen ill, and only business has suffered. Needless to say, it has devastated countless small businesses - especially photography, which after all consists almost entirely of gathering large groups of people close together! Of course, the real tragedy is not that I can't photograph weddings and events - but that the weddings and events are no longer happening. Smaller weddings are still possible in some areas of the country, but not here. I am still trying to book some for the regular season - September and October - for the brave souls willing to schedule anything these days. The present restrictions will surely be lifted by summer, if things continue to go "well," but if it mutates, or comes back for successive waves (as happened in 1918), there's always a chance they will be reimposed.

Anyway, this is not supposed to be a "downer" post - but a story of perseverance and hope! I am still working to the extent possible - limited as that may be. Just last week I booked a headshot session, showed up in full mask and gloves (felt ridiculous, but that's the world now) - and it went off without a hitch.

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I had been looking forward to visiting family in New York for Easter (upstate at least) - obviously that's not happening now. So instead, I'd like to do something else over Easter weekend. Most of my family portraits and some headshots have been outdoor shoots anyway - and now that "social distancing" is the only way to go -- why not take memorable family portraits or headshots from the street? People are out on their porches anyway, especially now that the weather has broken. What a great opportunity to capture and memorialize this historic time!

I thought of this a couple weeks ago, and since it's a fairly obvious thing to think of, I wasn't the only one. Down south a photographer started the Front Porch Project Facebook Page, but so far I haven't seen anything like that in Pittsburgh. 

So this coming weekend, I'd like to do this in my local neighborhood. I'll post an update if I can pull this off. Wish me luck!

It was held in Nashville again at the absolutely amazing Gaylord Opryland hotel. If you've never been, I highly recommend thinking up some excuse to go there, because it's the kind of place you need to see to believe. An "indoor" space so huge there's a river running through it - you can take a *boat* from your room to the event space -- and it's easy to think you're actually outside.

I always learn a lot, but I believe this year was exceptional. All the celebrity photographers are there giving talks and classes, and the public trade show is packed with all the latest gear and goods. It's a professional photographers dream; always very inspiring. I went to every class I could (I'm also one of the event photographers, assigned to cover some of the classes and events) - and one of the best classes (on videography) was the very first one: 8 am on a Sunday. Imaging USA is the only time you'll find me up that early, much less on a Sunday!

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If a spider can be said to have a lair, this massive construction surely qualifies. It extends nearly two feet above the box, and several inches to all sides. Strewn with the exoskeletons of previous molts -- when this eight-legged mail monster was slightly smaller and marginally less terrifying -- it spirals down into a vortex of evil darkness that, more often than not, sports two or three ominously protruding legs.

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My daughter not only refuses to get the mail now, she doesn't even like entering through that door! I've found that giving the darkness a name makes it less frightening. Meet "Mortimer G. Cuddlebug"

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Don't be shy; he's certainly not! If you lean over he will actually rush out, in a rather alarming manner, to investigate. I don't think he's capable of actually leaping up at my face, but I trust you'll forgive me for not thoroughly testing that theory. I hope he's just reacting to my breath on the web, and isn't being drawn to the darkness in my soul or anything. (Not that my soul has a lot of darkness; I expect it's actually pretty shiny and bright.)

I don't know how the thing doesn't get fried in the 100+ degree direct sunlight on metal all afternoon; maybe he creeps behind the wooden shutters, or retreats into a fifth dimension. Late fall he just disappears, in the manner of Stephen KIng's IT, only to reappear each year mid-June or so.

If he sticks around until October the web will make a nice Halloween decoration.

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I did get one flying thing, at least. Birds are much easier. They perch, and they fly slower -- and in straight lines. Bats aren't navigating visually, have no particular destination in mind  -- other than their next insectile snack -- so they move like fighter jets in a dogfight. (If I could shrink myself down and ride one, I'd be throwing up for sure.)

The bats live (in colonies of 10-100, they said) in "bat boxes" like this. Just picture this box stuffed with little fuzzy flying hamsters :-) I tried to hard to get a shot of a bat emerging (they come out the bottom), but had no luck. They move too fast to even see, much less photograph without an elaborate setup.

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I also tried some macro shots of the abundant local plant life. This effort reinforced what I already knew -- you need a tripod for good macro photography. I should probably get a small tripod for this purpose; it wasn't feasible to bring one of my big ones to an event like this. I did the best I could, but they're all a little soft.

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As an unexpected, very welcome bonus, we had a little campfire afterward, S'mores and all. I highly recommend Wingfield Pines for an outing -- just don't be stingy with the "Deep Woods Off". 

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Most were of this general type, but there were also red, orange, and yellow ones! These things are huge -- several inches across -- and they grew literally overnight. And it keeps happening. About every other day I remove one or sometimes two grocery bags full of several pounds of mushrooms.

It's been raining a lot, so apparently some sort of chemical threshold for favorable fungal growth has been reached -- or Tim Burton is sneaking onto my lawn every night and shooting an Alice in Wonderland sequel on a budget.

(Sorry for using cell phone pictures on a photography blog, but I was just too shocked to go get my camera!)

Apparently, I'm not the only one who's noticed these invaders. This morning I saw two chipmunks having quite a party. They were apparently just sunning on a rock -- but then one turned suddenly, walked a couple steps to dart down his hole -- and missed! Overshot a little and bumped his head on a pillar. Then the other one turned and tried to follow, but kept listing to the right. Finally he found the wall and just sort of sidled along it for a while.

Upon closer inspection, some of the larger mushrooms bear marks that look suspiciously like chewing... so the conclusion is obvious. My chipmunks have been chowing down on psychedelics! 

Making them easy prey...

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Of course, now I'm thinking. How can I get the cat to try them?

I'd thought those Russian circus bears who ride around on tricycles were mostly just in cartoons (or at least a lot smaller than they appeared), but this video proves me wrong! How much did they pay these models? It's an impressive shoot: from the array of props they dragged out into the woods, to the tolerant models who never so much as shiver. (That brings to mind a few models I've shot *indoors* at room temperature who complained incessantly about "freezing".)

As Siegfried and Roy can attest, giant wild animals can still be dangerous, no matter how tame. I'm glad this worked out for everyone, and it's an awesome video on many levels, particularly the behind-the-scenes elements... but, don't try this at home! You'd never find a bear that big anyway.

(On second thought, I would totally do this -- with a bearskin *rug*.)

Harley Davidson machine

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Things got pretty hot at Three River's Harley Davidson last weekend, and not all the heat was coming from the sun. I never wear sunglasses on a shoot (they interfere with seeing how the light falls), but I have no rules against shorts. Nevertheless, I was in heavy long pants, and within an hour I was red and sweating, wishing I could take some clothes off.

Luckily for everyone, the Harley bikini contest girls were under no such constraints. They were all lovely, but for the record, I correctly guessed that Nikki would win.

NikkiCalled it! 2015 Ms. Three Rivers Harley Davidson Ms. Three Rivers

Did you know girls in bikinis make terrible mechanics? They'll overcharge you every time!

Bad mechanicsNever trust a mechanic in a bikini

There were some other girls there too (with untested mechanical skills):

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Always on the lookout for creative opportunities, I find I'm increasingly gravitating toward portrait work. My method is simple:

1) Look for interesting people

2) Stalk them relentlessly

3) Contort my body into the least comfortable position possible and hold it for several seconds to several minutes, waiting for the subjects to do something interesting -- and for the guy messily eating a hotdog in the background to get out of the (*@&#$@ way

4)  Slather on the Ben Gay while I pick the best shot

Lead SingerThe music was great! Sindel Couple on bench Laughing girl Cigar man 80s Hair The judgeThe judge Eye see youEye see you

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Not too much to say, here. Pretty much just nature porn :-)

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Mommmmm! He's doing it again!

Sure, there are sites out there like Learn Hales, Kelby One, and PHLEARN. But for advanced topics, it's hard to beat Peta Pixel:

How to get squirrels to use props...

There is a whole field of "star photography," involving cameras connected to telescopes and tracking devices. But I'm too lazy for all that :-) My pictures were (mostly) of things much closer -- in fact, attached to -- the Earth.

All the lights there are red (to preserve night vision), and they have two large telescopes, one an historic 11-in reflector built in 1908. Here I am looking into the visitor's area -- and sometimes at the camera.

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Here I'm checking on the rotation of the Earth (yup; still turning). And experimenting with adding white light (with a small pen flashlight), to see how it affects colors. Apparently the more light I add, the more "true color" the picture becomes.

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Everyone was busy assembling gear and retrieving items through the night. I almost lost my backpack in the dark a couple times. Note to self: next time get a red filter for my flashlight!

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If you try to hand-hold the camera, the crescent moon starts to look like the Challenger disaster :-)

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Anyway, had a great time checking out distant comets and even more distant galaxies. Jupiter and Venus were out as well. I love this "ghost effect" of long exposures. Somehow on this one I got both the very faint red light leaking through the door below, blue in the sky (even though it was actually very dark), and somehow even clouds. I was exposing for 30s at ISO 1000 or so, F11-22.

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Yeah, I'm not a runner, but I can hand out a mean glass of water! I've been volunteering with CMU Alumni for 3 years now, and I love it. ('Cause, better them than me!) If you know someone brave enough to run -- or would like to remind yourself why you're not a runner -- I encourage you to volunteer next year. (There's a fair amount of swag, and even a volunteer appreciation party.)

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My station is near mile 23 -- near the end -- and I'm always amazed at how few are gasping for their last breath, bleeding from the nipples, or at least hobbling in pain by this point. (Actually, a fair number are bleeding from the nipples. Nip friction is no joke; this must be a common newbie mistake :-)

I would be dying, so it's a testament to good training that so many last this long and still look good. Of course, being near the end also means that those who were unfit probably dropped out miles ago. It got progressively hotter through the day, and near the end people were grabbing 2-3 cups and doing this with the last one!

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I have great respect for all the runners. I was so tired just standing in the sun for 6 hours (and running around a bit taking pictures), that I felt as though I'd run it myself. There are always a few interesting characters:

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In the words of one runner, "You Stay Classy, Pittsburgh!" (Did they really run the whole thing in costume like that?) See you next year!

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Meet Sapphire:

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Kitten. Instigator. And "personal trainer" to a certain much older, much fatter Tom named Mr. Seymour. An old Tom who's rapidly losing weight from alternately pouncing in anger and fleeing in terror.

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Sometimes he sees her coming from a long way off.

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Other times, she takes him by surprise... that's when the claws come out!

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Once in a while, Mr. Seymour just wants to chill, in a classic "draw me like one of your French girls" pose. He's still so fat, he can't really roll over or move much at all without falling off, but it's fun to watch him try (and occasionally fail, always followed by a reproachful little "I meant to do that" mrow).

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Sapphire has her pensive moments, too.

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Yet most of their time together seems occupied by wrestling, or a particularly feline version of tag. The most entertaining part of that is their wordless "negotiation" concerning who is "it." Sometimes they guess wrong, and both shoot off in opposite directions.

Let me tell you, Sapphire has some straight-up Ninja wrestling moves. She runs flat out straight at him, and what follows when they meet is always different, and always entertaining. Once she jumped straight up over him, spun 180 degrees in mid-air, and gently nipped him at the base of his tail. Another time, rather than leaping straight up, she somersaulted when halfway there, slid feet first across the hardwood floor *under him*, then wrapped all four paws around him from below and *flipped* him over. These things happen so fast; if I ever got them on video, they'd go viral for sure!